Managing the Dynamics of a Jailed Parent and Kids

For children most of all, change can be a significant and stressful time in life. When a parent or guardian is arrested, or detained in jail for a period of time, a child’s life can drastically change. Many times, for longer sentences, kids are handed over to foster cares or alternative guardianship like aunts, uncles, and grandparents. This alone is a big change for a kid, not to mention the fact that they are clueless as to why it is all happening to begin with. This is why having a delicate discussion with youth about their parent’s situation is important, but it is not always necessary to disclose details of their legal troubles. The extent to which an adult explains their parent’s state of affairs is entirely up to the family. It is helpful to remember that each child will react differently to the news of their parents arrest and detainment.

Common reactions include the obvious emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, and sadness; while other reactions are not as easily observable, like depression, embarrassment, and self-harming behaviors (eating disorders, promiscuity, etc.). Sometimes a drop in school performance, losing interest in recreational activities, or refusing to see friends can be possible reactions as well. Be sure to pay attention to the emotional needs of each individual child to ensure they are safe and protected from bad influences. It is crucial for adults to be there for emotional support and help children safely and delicately process the unfortunate circumstances of their life.

Prepare for Some Heavy Questions

Children are prone to asking a whole lot of questions. When it comes time to talk about what happened to mom or dad, and explain where they are and why, be prepared to answer difficult questions. Just remember that the best way to explain all of this is to simply tell the kids that their mother or father went to jail because they did not obey the law. Again, it is up to the family to decide how much detailed information they are willing to disclose; but the simple answer that they went to jail and won’t be home for a while is usually the most helpful and efficient. For younger kids, it is helpful to make the analogy between jail and time-outs. Explain how bad behavior gets them in trouble and makes them sit in time-outs, and that jail is like time-outs for grownups and adults.

Always reassure children that it is not their faults and that their parents love them very much. This helps kids understand that they can safely express their feeling and emotions, and that they are not responsible for their parent’s behavior. They need to know that not everyone goes to jail, and that these “long time-outs” or only for people who break the law. Be sure to also tell kids they will have a chance to talk or see their parents on designated days. Kids might ask questions about jail, like what they wear and eat and sleep. These answers can be answered honestly; or you can choose to tell them you don’t really know. At this point, the questions may stop, but always be open to answer more if they confront you with any. Remember, it is always okay to say, “I don’t know”, and let them ask mom or dad at their next scheduled visit.

How to Get Out of Jail in Indianapolis, Indiana

If you are facing an arrest warrant, or your children’s parent was arrested, call Woods Bail Bonds at 317-876-9600 to get out of jail, FAST. Right now, our Indianapolis bail bondsmen are offering rates as low as 8% for those who qualify. Our offices operate on a 24 hour basis, 7 days a week and 365 days a year, and we serve all of Indianapolis and Central Indiana. There is never a time that we don’t have a licensed bail agent standing by to take your call. Get started with a free quote and jail information, today.

Indiana Bail Bondsman 317-876-9600

Indianapolis Bail Bonds 317-876-9600

It is hard to watch a person you care about be arrested and incarcerated, whether for just one night or for a long period of time. And it is even more difficult to watch that person also has children you care about just as much. It is most certainly an honorable deed when friends and family choose to reach out and help children of jailed parents, but it is also an emotional and perplexing liability. Because many people feel anxiety about having to explain jail, or the absence of a parent, to an unassuming child.

Children are sensitive beings, and situations like this can leave a lasting impact on them if not handled responsibly. It is recommended to seek professional advice from a children’s therapist or pediatric counselor regarding the best strategies for such conversations. In the meantime, you may continue reading for some supportive advice on helping a child of jailed parent, and perhaps it can give you the hope you need to stay strong for the ones that you love.

Young Children of Jailed Parents

If the child is still an infant or toddler, it may not be necessary to explain the absence of a jailed parent since they will likely not have any memory of the experience. Then when the child is older, the jailed parent can choose to divulge that information to their children if they feel it necessary. If a toddler asks, there’s no need to create fairy-tale stories or fantasies. This may confuse them when the parent returns. Instead, tell them they are away at work, on a trip, or something similarly easy to explain but also nothing that will worry the toddler.

Older Children and Teens

However, older children will require a different approach. They are smarter, so they are bound to ask more questions. For this reason, it is best to just be as honest as possible, but only to a point that is safe for them. You don’t have to be completely honest, just honest enough for the child to feel comfortable with the truth. A child of a jailed parent is likely to feel a sense of loss; so it is important to acknowledge that sense of loss and to support them during their time of need. It is important to also remember that children grieve in different ways. By simply paying attention and being involved in their lives, you can pick up on their way of grieving and
accommodate their personal struggles.

Important Things To Do:

Routinely remind children that their parents love them very much and are thinking about them every day. Also remind them that it is not their fault in anyway and that their parents will return home in the future. If the child asks when their parent will be home, it is perfectly acceptable to tell them you don’t know; but then follow up by telling them that what you DO know is that their parents love them very much.

If possible, encourage and scheduled contact with the jailed parent. This includes in-person visitation, scheduled video conferences, and phone calls. Help them write letters and send cards as well. By staying in touch with their parents, children feel less anxious and scared about their absence. It reminds them that their mom or dad is safe, and it lets them know they are still loved and remembered.

It is very important to never speak negatively about the jailed parent in the presence of their child. This can have a lasting effect on the child’s mental health, and influence their feelings toward their parent. Children have a special connection with parents, and having a parent in jail is already an emotional time for them. You would never want to add to their stress by speaking in a derogatory manner about their parent.

If you are feeling alone, turn to local support groups for companionship and help with coping. It is also a great idea to seek mental health counseling for the child, if they’re old enough, so that the child can learn healthy coping skills.

Continue to encourage the child to take part in play dates, school activities, sports, and hobbies. Keeping the child occupied in a positive way helps them cope as well.

The most important thing you can do for a child of a jailed parent is simply be there for them and listen when they need someone to talk to. This lets them feel like they have a safe place to fall, emotionally and physically.

If you or someone you love was recently arrested in Indiana, contact a trusted bail bonds company for help obtaining a safe and secure release from jail.

Indianapolis Bail Bonds

Woods Bail Bonds 317-876-9600

Call Woods Bail Bonds at 317-876-9600 to safely and securely get out of jail in Indiana. Owner, James Woods, and his team of licensed and insured bail bondsmen, our passionate about helping people in need. We are happy to answer your questions about Indianapolis bail bonds, anytime, since we operate on a 24-hour basis, seven days a week at 365 days a year. The matter what time or day you require discrete bail bond services, our agents are there for you! We provide bail bond services in over 30 Indiana counties. Color main headquarters at 317-876-9600 to request an estimate
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How to Talk to Kids About a Parent’s Arrest